


I'll Be Your Best Friend And You'll Be My Valentine

by snapple_jax



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythology, Cupid!Kaner, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9653033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapple_jax/pseuds/snapple_jax
Summary: Any ass with a bow and arrow could make sparks fly.  The trouble was in making it stick.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!

_ I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine _

_ Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to _

_ 'Cause I want to hold yours too _

_ We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds _

  
\- **Fergie** _ Big Girls Don’t Cry _

 

Any ass with a bow and arrow could make sparks fly.  The trouble was in making it stick.  

 

Well, in making those _feelings_ stick.  A well-timed arrow can make you delirious with desire should the archer choose, but those fervent emotions are generally fleeting if the target in question never truly wished for it themself.  The truer purpose of a cupid’s arrow is to serve as an instrument of guidance.  It could be a literal arrow pointing at something that could change your path for the better, a subtle eye-opener in viewing someone that you’ve seen before in a new way, or even a sharp whack to the backside to get your shit together before a good thing slips through your fingers.

 

Kaner prides himself on being able to deliver that kick to the ass, but most of all, he loves the challenge of deciphering the hidden wants and needs of humans.  The challenge of helping someone be the best version of themself.  Of finding the one person who could make another laugh and smile and be perfectly lovestruck with happiness.  Kaner’s a giant sap, but that’s what makes him a Cupid.

 

Contrary to popular opinion, there is no singular Cupid.  Rather, CUPID serves as the elite designation given to highest order of the winged messengers of love.  Kaner, known for having both unerring accuracy with a bow and arrow and the softest of hands in dealing with the delicate hearts of humans, is the newest recruit, having recently graduated with distinction at the top of his class.

 

Today is the day he’ll be meeting with the current Venus herself, Abby Sharp, and entrusted with his first triad of charges.  Charges whose love lives he can now influence without the guidance of a preceptor hovering two feet above his shoulder.  The weight of responsibility is a heavy one - there are no quick and easy cures, take-backs, or undoings when it comes to love.  It’s been drilled into them since day one of training that failure usually leads to bearing witness to anger and isolation and tears.  Who is he kidding, Kaner hates the tears the most since they’ll inevitably lead to his own.  Suddenly, Kaner feels a growing wave of nervousness and anticipation.

 

“You’re going to be brilliant,” his mother says as she carefully unruffles his feathers.  “I knew it from the moment you were born.  You were sleeping in my arms and I turned to your father and said, ‘Look at our Patrick, a perfect cupid’s bow.’”  She gives a quick tap to Kaner’s upper lip that makes him wrinkle his nose, but also eases the feeling of someone beating a drum in his stomach.

 

He gives a kiss goodbye to his mother, hugs his father and each of his sisters tight.  Even Erica, who’s mockingly mouthing _a perfect cupid’s bow_ to him behind his mother’s back.  It’s a quick flight to headquarters and instead of being ushered to her office as expected, both Venus Abby and her consort Patrick Sharp stood outside to greet him.

 

Patrick Sharp squints at him.  “Wasn’t sure it was you at first coming through the clouds, it was like playing peekaboo. Can I call you Peekaboo?”

 

Kaner blinks, unsure as to how he should respond.  On one hand, Patrick Sharp was the Venus’ consort and second in command (which wasn’t without some controversy with the accusations of favoritism, but honestly, banning workplace romances would be especially hypocritical at CUPID of all places).  On the other hand, he was the Cupid who famously received a triad of charges and somehow engendered a polyamorous hat trick of sorts (it was said he shouted “Three birds! One arrow!” upon success).

 

“Uh, Kaner’s fine.”

 

“Don’t mind him,” Abby says clasping his arm. “Come on in, we’ll give you a tour and I’m sure you’re anxious to get your names sooner rather than later.”

 

“This way, Peeks,” Sharp gestures from a few steps ahead towards the giant white-marbled double doors edged with gold leaf carvings of bees and dolphins.

 

Kaner rolls his eyes good-naturedly and Abby whispers as they follow behind, “Everyone calls him Sharpy, but if he annoys you I can let you in on some of the more...creative nicknames I use when I’m angry.”

 

Kaner smiles at her and Abby grins back.  He can see why she was chosen to be Venus.  Only a few minutes have passed and he already feels at ease in her presence.  She’s beautiful, yes, but moreso because her smiles reach her eyes and her laughter is full of genuine warmth and camaraderie.

 

“Whoa whoa whoa newbie, put away those dimples and baby blues, that’s my girl, you know,” Sharpy mock chastises.

 

“What’s wrong, Sharpy? You worried already?” Kaner smirks back.

 

Sharpy ruffles his hand through Kaner’s windblown curls and looks at him quizzically, “Not sure what your hair is doing yet Peeksy-boo, so probably not.”

 

Kaner swats Sharpy’s hand away half-heartedly, resigned to the fact that some battles can’t be won, especially when it comes to his hair.  Sharpy’s own hair sits atop his head, shiny and majestic and clearly taunting Kaner.

 

The tour itself is brief, but peppered throughout with cheeky anecdotes from Sharpy and Abby.  Kaner wandered through the mess hall, dormitories, archery field, equipment room, library, and home theater (“Pretty Woman’s Sharpy’s favorite,” Abby snickered), until they finally entered an aviary.

 

“No way,” Kaner hedges while eyeing a pair of doves. “I thought this was just a running joke people told new recruits.”

 

“Love is blind, Peeks!” Sharpy says while cheerfully tying a blindfold over Kaner’s eyes. “It’s a rite of passage.”

 

Kaner sighs, carefully pulling an arrow from the quiver strapped to his back and nocking it to his bow.  He listens to the soft mating call coming from his left and shifts to aim in that direction.

 

“They’re small, try not to kill anything,” Sharpy whispers.

 

Before Kaner can reply he hears a dull smack and a pointed “Hush!” from Abby.

 

Other than a brief sting, an arrow’s kiss can’t inflict any true physical harm, but it does require a certain finesse.  Ever walked along the sidewalk and somehow tripped over nothing?  Probably a near-miss.

 

Kaner’s training buddy Shawzy had racked up an impressive total of seven ER meet-cutes in the last quarter alone and was currently sulking his way through probation.  Taking aim at someone driving or crossing the street or deep-frying food is generally frowned upon.  Shawzy’s impassioned “I swear, their moms all wanted them to find a nice doctor!” did little to sway the committee in his favor.

 

Kaner’s ears pick up a flutter of wings near what he remembers to be a tree.  He gently releases the bowstring to sail the arrow just past where the bird should be perched on the branch to his right, drawing its attention.  The arrow should land softly next to the dove emitting the mating call.

 

Kaner rips the blindfold off just in time to see the dove in the tree follow the arrow down and land next to the dove singing below. Ha! Instant lovebirds.  

 

Kaner launches into a ridiculous celly “Boom! Heartbreaker!” he beams at Sharpy.  “Didn’t think I could do it, huh?”

 

If anything, both Sharpy and Abby look like proud parents.  “Don’t think I’ll ever bet against you, Peeks,” Sharpy grins back.

 

“Well deserved, Kaner,” Abby says unfolding a small piece of parchment that was tied to the foot of the female dove.  “Remember, no exchanges, it’s a commitment.”

 

“I won’t let them down,” Kaner promises, feeling a zing of excitement as he follows her lead to a nearby desk and grasps a pen to sign his name along the bottom.

 

Sure enough, the names slowly appear, as if signed by three other hands.

 

Jonathan Toews

Arlene Canton

Lillian Zhao

 

Kaner eagerly looks them over and widens his eyes at the unexpected jolt of recognition.  Two of the names are unfamiliar, but there, penned in slightly cramped letters at the very top, is the name of someone he’s met before.


	2. Chapter 2

_“It’s important for you to be able to relate to the people whose lives you’ll be affecting,” Savvy instructs.  “Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve.  Sometimes in order to figure out what they’d most want, you’ll need to know how to blend in and make friends.”_

 

_A ten-year-old Kaner slowly nods his head and looks ahead towards a small frozen pond, watching a young boy around Kaner’s age glide, or slide, or...to Kaner it looks like flying without ever leaving the ground._

 

_“What’s he doing with the stick?” Kaner asks.  “Is it a game?”_

 

_Savvy gives an encouraging smile. “Why don’t you go find out?”_

 

_Kaner takes a breath, sticks out his chin in determination, and begins to move forward, when he feels a restraining hand at his elbow._

 

_“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Savvy says, amused._

 

_Kaner frowns and looks over his shoulder, where his wings would be if not currently hidden.  “You can see them?” Kaner was sure his guise to keep them concealed was firmly in place._

 

_“No, no, nothing to see there,” Savvy chuckles and then gestures towards Kaner’s feet which were hovering a good 4 inches off the ground.  “But I think they’ll have a hard time ignoring that.”_

 

_Kaner promptly blushes and drops back to the ground. “Oops.”_

 

_“All with practice, Patrick. Go on, you’ll be fine.” Savvy gives him a soft push towards the pond._

 

_As Kaner approaches the human boy, he notices the thin blades attached to his shoes and that what appeared to be a slight blur from afar was in fact a small disc-shaped object that was being repeatedly whacked at with the curved stick._

 

_The boy comes to a slow stop, his dark eyes focusing on Kaner curiously._

 

_“Hi,” Kaner smiles sweetly, “I like your knife shoes.”_

 

_The boy looks down at Kaner’s own feet incredulously, “Are you wearing flip flops?”_

 

_Kaner’s not sure if he is or isn’t, so he continues on undeterred, “I’m Kaner, what are you play--”_

 

_His voice trails off as the boy moves away to rifle through a bag, and pulls out a second pair of knife shoes._

 

_“Here,” he says, handing them over to Kaner. “Put these on before your toes fall off.  They’re my old skates, but you’re a little smaller than me so they should fit.”_

 

_Skates, Kaner murmurs to himself as he happily plops down near a snowbank and begins to pull them on._

 

_“I’m Jonny, what kind of name is Kaner anyway?” Jonny asks as he looks on and then smacks Kaner’s hands away when he doesn’t lace the skates up tight enough._

 

_As Jonny bends down to tie them himself, Kaner replies “Well, it’s Patrick Kane, but everyone calls me Kaner.”_

 

_Satisfied with the skates, Jonny sticks his hand in another bag nearby and pulls out helmet.  He eyes Kaner’s hair suspiciously for a moment and then places it on his head.  “My brother Davey was here earlier, you’re lucky you don’t have a bigger head.” Jonny tightens the chin strap, gives the helmet a soft thump, and grins at the tongue Kaner sticks out._

 

_When Kaner seems put together to his satisfaction, Jonny helps him onto the ice.  Kaner wobbles for a moment when Jonny lets go, but listens attentively as Jonny points to the net and explains the rules.  How hard can this be?  Kaner can fly, this’ll be a breeze._

 

_“Ready to play some hockey, Kaner?” Jonny questions. “Let’s go!”_

 

_Kaner nods, takes a decisive step forward, topples over, and spins an impressive 360_ **_°_ ** _to land in the net. He’s 90% certain that was a goal._

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

_Kaner’s pretty good at making friends, but he thought he’d have to try harder when it came to humans.  That they’d take one look at him and notice that something was off.  Either Jonny doesn’t notice or he’s too busy giving Kaner a crash course in everything hockey to care.  In the following weeks, Jonny had taken Kaner under his wing as his own personal pet project._

 

_He taught him how to skate backwards._

 

_“This is stupid Jonny, why can’t I just turn around.”_

 

_He taught him how to take a faceoff._

 

_“Lean over more Kaner, how are you so bad at this?”_

 

_“You’re the one cheating Jonny!”_

 

_Somehow Kaner took to stickhandling like a duck to water._

 

_“Not bad, Kaner.”_

 

_Although skating didn’t come as naturally as flying did, Kaner picked up more and more with each passing day, until Kaner caught Jonny making a small pleased smirk more often than a shark-eyed frown.  That didn’t mean Jonny was the easiest teacher or that Kaner didn’t find new ways to push his buttons on the regular._

 

_“I was wide open Kaner, you have to pass!” Jonny yelled across the ice._

 

_“There’s literally two of us on the ice right now, you’re always going to be wide open moron!” Kaner yelled back. “I just wanted to try the spinorama again!”_

 

_“The last time you ended up in the net, AGAIN,” Jonny argued, cheeks red. “We’re better off working on the passing drill.”_

 

_“I didn’t even know how to skate the first time!”_

 

_“You’re the idiot that thought it was a goal!”_

 

_It’s usually around this point that Kaner would give up any hope of practicing and instead concentrate his efforts on stuffing all the snow he could manage down the back of Jonny’s jersey.  If Davey was around for these ultimate snowball fights, he’d usually team up with Kaner in order to take Jonny down a peg or two, leading to a betrayed expression on Jonny’s face and Kaner cackling that he “had the Better Toews” on his side.  Most of the time, however, it was Jonny and Kaner ducking for cover, squealing and laughing at every direct hit, and tackling each into exhaustion._

 

_At the end of the day, lying on the ice side by side catching their breath, drenched and shivering from the melted snow stuck under their clothes, all was forgiven.  Jonny would drag Kaner back to his house so they could change into clean and wonderfully dry clothes.  Jonny’s mother Andree would make them hot chocolate, adding extra marshmallows when Kaner would bat his eyelashes and ask politely.  Kaner wasn’t sure if all humans would be as easy to befriend, but the ones he’d met so far were his favorite._

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

_Kaner’s “Uncle” Savvy was so thrilled with his initiative and dedication that he supplied Kaner with all the equipment he’d need to fit in with the other neighborhood kids that came to the pond for a quick scrimmage.  The other boys had looked at Kaner suspiciously at first, wondering where he came from and why he didn’t go to school with them.  Kaner just recited the story Savvy had him practice, that he’s staying with his uncle and going to the school one town over while his parents renovated their house.  The kids usually seemed to shrug and tune him out once he reached the word “renovated”.  Privately, Kaner thought the weight of Jonny’s arm around his shoulder did more to convince them that he belonged than any story ever did._

 

_Jonny had mentioned to Kaner that he played on his school team at the local rec center.  It was obvious to Kaner that the rest of the boys looked up to his talent on the ice and gravitated towards his leadership off of it.  It was also clear that what was a fun afternoon activity for everyone else was taken much more seriously by Jonny.  Long after the rest of the boys left for snacks and video games, Jonny would still be out on the ice, trying out shots from different angles or recreating plays he’d seen in a game the night before.  He was never tired of hockey._

 

_Kaner knows what it’s like to want to be the best at something.  The calluses on his fingers from endless hours of archery prove it.  That’s why, one morning when Kaner showed up to the pond and saw that there was no Jonny to be found, he knew something was off.  Jonny almost never missed a day unless he had a game._

 

_Kaner had memorized Jonny’s schedule in order to spend time with his sisters who were getting cranky that most of his free time was now taken up with his new friend that they weren’t allowed to meet.  Plus, if they managed to hold the Kane Dance-off’s on Jonny’s game days, he never had to deal with the pissy face Jonny would throw his way for having skived off practice._

 

_Kaner decided to go straight to the source and hustled over to Jonny’s house.  This would have all taken much less time if he could’ve flown, he muttered to himself while ringing the doorbell._

 

_Andree opened the door, looking a bit harried, and smiled at Kaner, “Oh, Patrick! You must be looking for Jon.  I’m afraid he won’t be able to play hockey with you for a few days, darling.  He’s come down with chickenpox.”_

 

_At Kaner’s dubious look, she clarified, “It’s very contagious, you won’t be able to see him until he’s well enough.  Unless you’ve already had it that is.”_

 

_“I have!” Kaner blurts out.  It’s not too terrible a lie.  Human illnesses don’t affect his kind, so he should be fine.  He’s just worried about Jonny.  Who knows what the chickens have done to him._

 

_Andree gives him an assessing look that looks remarkably similar to the one his own mother tends to level at him.  Kaner looks back guilelessly, “I can’t get it and I won’t be too much trouble, promise.”_

 

_Andree sighs, “Alright then, come in Patrick.  Maybe you’re just what he needs, he’s been going stir crazy being locked inside here.”_

 

_Patrick’s never seen Jonny sit still. Ever._

 

_“Here,” Andree says handing him some juice and bottles of water. “Make sure he stays in bed and drinks some of this.”_

 

_“Aye aye doc,” Kaner says grinning._

 

_Andree laughs and gives him a small push towards the staircase. “Tell him I said no scratching!  I’m counting on you Patrick!”_

 

_Kaner gives a jaunty salute and leaves to do as directed.  Peering around Jonny’s bedroom door, all Kaner see is the top of Jonny’s head and two glaring eyes sticking out from under a pile of blankets.  Whatever’s happening in the hockey game playing on screen doesn’t seem to have him in a good mood._

 

_“Hey man, I hear you’ve got the pox.”_

 

_Jonny startles in surprise, “Kaner?”_

 

_Seeing no chickens lurking in any corners, Kaner strides confidently inside and squeezes himself next to Jonny.  Jonny who’s covered in spots and blisters and lotion._

 

_“Jonny? Does...does it hurt?” Kaner asks, blue eyes wide with worry._

 

_Jonny huffs, “You’re asking me?  Maman wouldn’t have let you up here if you hadn’t had it before.  Itches like crazy, I hate it.”_

 

_“It was a long time ago, I can’t really remember,” Kaner says shifting his attention to the remote and flipping the channel to Saturday Morning cartoons.  He never liked lying to Jonny._

 

_“Hey!” Jonny grabbed for the remote. “I was watching--”_

 

_“You saw that game already,” Kaner interrupts. “Plus, it was making you all cranky.  Look Scooby-Doo is on.”_

 

_Jonny switches to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just to be contrary, but it’s okay because Kaner likes that one too.  “Drink this,” he says, handing Jonny a juice box.  “Your mom said you should. Oh! And she said no itching,” Kaner says linking his fingers through Jonny’s hand that isn’t currently holding the remote in a death grip._

 

_Jonny looks over at Kaner quizzically.  “Since when does maman--”_

 

_“Your mom loves me. See? She got me strawberry Juicy Juice,” Kaner sucks obnoxiously on the straw of the mostly empty juice box in order to make the loudest noise possible._

 

_“Ugh Kaner, you’re definitely a Michaelangelo.”_

 

_“I like Michaelangelo! He’s my favorite!”_

 

_“You would.”_

 

_“Well, you’re like Raphael, always grouchy,” Kaner says poking a finger at the furrow between Jonny’s eyebrows._

 

_Jonny swats his hand away and somehow they both forget that the remote is lying there, free for the taking, and relax in a comfortable silence._

 

_“You’re smart like Donatello too...you have moments of Donatello,” Jonny mumbles sleepily._

 

_Kaner turns to the side and beams at him, “You’re really Leo, you’re gonna be a NHL captain someday, you’ll see.”_

 

_“You think so?” Jonny blinks at him earnestly. “That’s my dream…”_

 

_“I know it, Jonny.”_

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

_Kaner shouldn’t have been surprised when Savvy pulls him aside one day and gives him a considering look.  He knew the question that was coming._

 

_“So, Patrick,” Savvy says gently, “It’s been a few months...what does Jonathan need?”_

 

_Patrick takes a deep breath and lets it out. This is what Cupids do. This is what Savvy’s been preparing him for.  Cupids are happiest when they’re able to make their charges happy.  And if he pulls this off, Kaner will be elated to give this to Jonny.  Jonny deserves a shot and as long as Kaner ignores the sinking feeling in his stomach, he knows he can deliver with Savvy’s help._

 

_“A team. He needs a real team.”_

 

_“A real team?” Savvy repeats._

 

_“He has a team here, but it’s just an hour after school.  None of them love hockey as much as Jonny does.  He’s always pushing the others to be better, but he’s teaching himself most of the time.  I think it’ll be good if he could play with a team who felt the same way.  Give him some competition, you know?_

 

_“You’re sure about this?” Savvy asks._

 

_Kaner nods without hesitation.  “He told me his dream, Savvy.  He wants to be in the NHL.”_

 

_Savvy smiles, “Okay, Patrick, let me work on it. I’m proud of you too, it’s not always easy to figure humans out on your first try.”_

 

_As Savvy flies away, Kaner frowns, hating the thought that Jonny was just something meant to be solved.  Jonny’s his friend.  And soon he wouldn’t be._

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

_Kaner focuses on the red SUV as it slows, approaching the curve of the road up ahead._

 

_The steps to Savvy’s plan are fairly simple.  Savvy found a hockey program that would be perfect for Jonny a few towns over.  The coaching was experienced and they ran youth development camps that attracted plenty of attention.  All they had to do was see Jonny and give him a chance._

 

_Savvy nods and Kaner adjusts his grip, takes aim, and releases.  Floating near the line of trees alongside the road, Kaner watches as the arrow embeds itself into the tire.  The rest goes by in a daze.  The SUV rolling to a stop.  The driver cursing his bad luck at not having a spare.  The long walk into town to locate a mechanic.  The rec center he passes catching his attention.  Jonny on the ice.  The conversation with Jonny’s parents after the game.  The way Jonny’s eyes are shining._

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

_So this is what a job well done feels like, Kaner thinks a few days later as Jonny’s exuberantly recounting everything Kaner already knows._

 

_“There’s a house nearby that’s for sale over there.  My father’s saying that there’s enough room to build a rink in the backyard if we want!”_

 

_“If you want?” Kaner teases. “You’re still thinking about whether or not you’d like your own rink, Jonny?”_

 

_Jonny grins and gives him a light cuff to his arm.  “Yeah yeah yeah.”_

 

_Suddenly, he looks a bit wistful.  “I wish you could come too.  But you’ll visit, right?”_

 

_Kaner just hugs him tight.  “You’re going to be great, Jonny,” he says before he lets him go._


	3. Chapter 3

Kaner isn’t avoiding any of his charges.  That would be silly.

 

He watches Lillian with her twin sister, carefully placing a Jenga block on top of a tower that’s growing more and more structurally unsound by the second.  He sees Arlene rummaging through scraps of recipes torn out of magazines and then happily eating a grilled cheese sandwich instead.  Jonny wears number nineteen on his back and a C on his chest and he doesn’t notice Kaner.

 

Well, to be fair, none of them do.  Kaner’s learned that research is key to developing a plan and if his observation skills are good enough, he can sometimes skip the in person getting-to-know-you phase.  Only the more inscrutable or downright stubborn charges need the full Kaner Special wherein he gifts their lives with a brief cameo appearance that they can actually witness.  Otherwise, he’s more than able to work his magic from afar.

 

But this is Jonny and Kaner couldn’t help his curiosity, so somehow _afar_ became ten feet away from the glass on a Thursday night at the United Center.  Sitting down, blond curls firmly tucked away under a Blackhawks snapback, Kaner can’t help but feel on edge, restless with nervous energy.  He’s not sure what he’s expecting.  If it’s for Jonny to skate out for warm-ups, look up into the crowd and zero in on Kaner with his patented laser stare.  For him to smile with distant recognition, or worse, for him remember and not acknowledge Kaner at all.

 

Kaner’s speculations come to an abrupt halt as Jonny and the rest of his teammates start to take the ice and suddenly Kaner’s back on the pond from close to ten years ago.  There’s the same smooth easy glide.  The same friendly bump as he jostles into the space one of his wingers is stickhandling in.  The same scrunchy-nosed laugh.  It’s Kaner’s old Jonny and yet it’s not.  This Jonny, tall and confident and leading an Original Six team is the person his Jonny wanted to grow up to be.

 

The game is exciting, albeit a bit too close for comfort.  Kaner cheers for Jonny’s goal in the second and his long pass to assist on a breakaway in the third.  Grinning and buoyant with the win, as Kaner walks out with the other fans, he feels a pleased sense of satisfaction take over.  He wouldn’t dare take any credit for the way Jonny’s life has turned out.  Jonny could’ve dreamt all he wanted of being a NHL player, but it was his own hard work that earned him his current position.  Nonetheless, it never hurts to know that you were right all along.  Kaner smiles, dimples flashing, and high-fives a random woman in a Hossa jersey.

 

**_****************************************************************************************************************************************_**

 

“You’re avoiding him,” Sharpy accuses.

 

Kaner’s wide smile from over three weeks ago has been replaced by the pout he’s currently hiding behind a beer bottle.  He’s definitely made headway with his other two charges.  For Lillian, he’s found a prom date who’s able to tell her apart from her sister and seems to be bonding with her over set design for the high school’s production of _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_.  For Arlene, he’s working on getting her husband switched to the day shift so they can finally spend time together rather than the brief hour between one groggily waking up and the other collapsing into bed.

 

For Jonny, though, Kaner’s not sure where to start.  By all outward appearances, Jonny seems to be living the life he’s always wanted, centered around the sport he’s always had a passion for.

A typical day seemed to involve morning practice, a work out at the facility’s gym, lunch with a few of his teammates, back to his condo for a nap, and then over to the United Center for a game.  Depending on the mood after a particularly sweet win or brutal loss, the Hawks were known to go out to either celebrate or commiserate over their sorrows.  Jonny had no shortage of romantic options if the number of adoring fans batting their eyelashes at him is anything to go by.

 

At first, when Kaner had seen Jonny’s name a month ago, he’d bided his time.  The last thing he wanted was to ingratiate himself into Jonny’s life only to disappear all over again.  He tried to be vague about asking for advice from Sharpy, who had sort of taken Kaner under his wing.  Sharpy had taken one look at him and Kaner had clearly underestimated his ability to draw out confidences, because before he knew it, Kaner was confessing that Jonny was once one of Savvy’s exercises in human interaction.

 

“You don’t want to get close and lose a friend again,” Sharpy had said.

 

“Maybe I don’t want _him_ to have to lose a friend again,” Kaner had answered petulantly.

 

Sharpy had only laughed, “Yeah Kaner, you’re something special alright.  Would break my heart if it was me.”

 

Screw Sharpy, Kaner _was_ special.  Abby had even given him permission to attend a few psychology classes at the University of Chicago to better understand the human mind.  It was after one such class that Sharpy had dragged Kaner to a local bar, stating that it was a good way to unwind with company while he scoped out the bartender who was one of his own charges.

 

Kaner looks down at Jonny’s name on his list with reproach.  Why the hell is it there?

 

“You could ask him,” Sharpy answers, correctly reading Kaner’s expression.  Sharpy had an uncanny way of knowing Kaner’s thoughts, but then again, Kaner’s face has always been an open book.  

 

Slumped over in a booth and peeling the label off the bottle, Kaner groans, “Ugh, I didn’t want to resort to that.”

 

“Maybe he just wants the crowning glory, the Stanley Cup?”

 

“Don’t be stupid, Sharpy.  Every hockey player’s already in love with the Cup.  I don’t need an arrow for that.”

 

Sharpy hums under his breath and looks somewhere over Kaner’s right shoulder, “Guess not, but I still think you should go straight to the source, Peeks.  I mean, it’s not everyday you meet someone who can recognize you by the back of your head after ten years.”

 

Kaner slowly sits up and hisses, “What are you talking about, Sharpy?”

 

Sharpy levels a considering look at him. “I mean, your hair is pretty distinctive though.”

 

“Sharpy.”

 

Sharpy sighs.  “I did this for your own good.  He’s sitting in the corner booth behind you, been glancing over here every few minutes.  Even circled the bar when he got up for the last round to make sure you still had those pretty blue eyes.  I guess you remind him of somebody he used to know,” Sharpy sing-songs.

 

Kaner glares and opens his mouth, but before he can get a word out Sharpy gives him a sudden kick under the table.

 

“I think he’s making a move.  Goddamnit Peeks, try to look less terrified,” Sharpy bites out.

 

There’s a small cough to his right, and a hesitant “Hey, sorry to interrupt, I’m Jonathan.  This is kinda strange, but you look like..”

 

Kaner looks up and there’s Jonny arm being held out for a handshake and Kaner doesn’t know what’s wrong with him since he’s perfectly capable of focusing on more than one thing at the same time.  But, he’s held that hand before and the arm attached to it had been more noodle-like back then and now it’s...not.

 

There’s another swift kick and what seems to be muffled laughter coming from Sharpy’s side of the table.

 

Glancing up at Jonny’s somewhat cautious expression, Kaner feels a soft smile form on his own face.

 

“Hey, Leo.”

 

The brilliant smile Jonny directs at him makes Kaner wonder why he wasted so much time dawdling.  Shut up, Sharpy.

 

**_****************************************************************************************************************************************_ **

 

Jonny hasn’t changed much, if the way he once again immediately adopts Kaner as his own is used as a barometer.  

 

Jonny introduces him to his buddies on the team.

“This kid, I taught him everything he knows,” with a cheeky grin and a lame “just kidding” tacked on at the end.

 

He promises seats to their next home game so Kaner can see the Hawks in action.  When Kaner blushes and admits that he’s already been to one, Jonny looks put out.

 

“You were right there and you didn’t say anything to me?  What game was it?  Did we win?”

 

Kaner rolls his eyes, “And what was I supposed to do, Jonny?  Jump onto the ice and get tackled by security?”

 

“Our fans communicate with signs, Kaner,” Jonny replies with a pompous lift to his chin.

 

Kaner laughs, “Yeah, not happening.”

 

“What?  Don’t I deserve a glitter gun?” Jonny teases with a ridiculous smirk.

 

Shaking his head with a stupid grin plastered to his face, Kaner looks around and notices that most of the crowd had wandered off.  Who knows where Sharpy had flown off to?

 

“Hey,” Jonny says softly, “I tried calling you afterwards, you know.  The line was disconnected, they said you moved too.  Guess your parents finally fixed up the house, huh?”

 

Kaner barely remembers the backstory Savvy had cooked up, so he just nods along dumbly.

 

“So how did you end up in Chicago, anyway?” Jonny asks.

 

Glad for the change of topic to something that’s actually the truth, Kaner launches into talking about the psych classes he’s taking and how the statistical aspect blindsided him at first, but that he’s developing a real knack for the quantitative side of data analysis for the behavioral research they’re studying.

 

When Kaner looks up, there’s a proud little uptick to the corner of Jonny’s mouth.

 

“Such a Donatello.”

 

**_****************************************************************************************************************************************_ **

 

In the weeks that follow, Kaner spends time in Jonny’s swanky condo either being hyper-competitive about Mario Kart or watching Jonny cook and/or blend green items while he lectures that Kaner’s current eating habits are corroding him from the inside.

 

Kaner is mostly entertained and the meals Jonny makes are surprisingly good, but every now and then he likes bring up Hot Pockets, Cup O’Noodles, and other college fare in conversation just to see the pissy glare Jonny makes and the rant that bubbles out soon after.

 

Sitting side by side, cackling at Jonny’s thrown Wii-mote as Kaner’s King Boo crosses the finish line, Jonny gives him an exasperated shove down to the couch with a rueful smile.

 

“Just like old times, huh?”

 

Kaner grins, “Yeah, except instead of bossing me around on the ice, you’re letting me school you at Mario Kart.”

 

“Ugh, best of seven, Kaner,” Jonny orders grabbing the Wii-mote from wherever he’d flung it.

 

Sharpy’s taken to humming Nat King Cole’s _Unforgettable_ whenever he happens to fly by Kaner.

 

**_****************************************************************************************************************************************_ **

 

Having gleefully watched Lillian and her date pose for awkward prom photos and Arlene and her husband slow-dancing and enjoying a night out together, Kaner’s feeling pretty positive about his success rate.  He pats his bow lovingly and his thoughts turn to Jonny.

 

For all the time spent together, Kaner couldn’t help but notice that it’s mostly been just the two them.  With away games, Jonny’s schedule is irregular at best, but outside of the core group of players on the team, Kaner hasn’t met anyone that Jonny spends a significant amount of time with in Chicago.  Kaner frowns, thinking that having been separated from his circle of family and friends in Winnipeg, Jonny must’ve been a bit lonely.

 

Kaner thinks he has a plan.

 

A day later, after he’s sure Jonny must be back and settled in from an away trip, Kaner stops by the condo.

 

Opening the door, Jonny is greeted with the sight of Kaner presenting a small chocolate lab puppy much like Rafiki and Simba in _The Lion King_.

 

Jonny seems torn between being utterly charmed at the sheer adorableness of the image this makes or wondering if Kaner’s from Cloud 9, which is actually surprisingly close to the truth considering Cloud 88 is just a few wing flaps to the east.

 

“Her name’s Cecilia, but she likes to be called CeCe.  She was going to be all alone like you, so I think you should keep each other,” Kaner says while giving CeCe a bit of a wiggle in front of Jonny’s face.

 

CeCe snuffles curiously, gives a tiny lick to Jonny’s right cheek, and barks once.  Kaner nods as if everything is settled.

 

“Kaner!  You can’t just get me a dog without--” Jonny’s admonition is cut short by CeCe trying to shuffle out of Kaner’s arms and onto Jonny’s sweater.

 

Jonny gives a short huff, picks her up, and gives her a quick scratch around her collar.  Jonny gives a snort of amusement when he notices the Scooby-Doo blue theme and that Kaner already had it engraved with the letters “CC” and Jon’s phone number.

 

“Where did you find her?” Jonny sighs, watching as Kaner efficiently began to carry in bags of food, supplies, and a dog bed.

 

“One of the freshmen smuggled her into the dorm and got caught.  She needed a good home and I thought of you,” Kaner answers with wide-eyed sincerity.

 

“You thought of me?  Kaner, I’m not even here for days at a time, what’s going to happen when I’m away?” Jonny grumbles, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was making kissy faces to the puppy not two seconds ago.

 

“I’ll help,” Kaner offers graciously.  “She already likes me.”

 

“Well, that makes one of us,” Jonny mutters darkly to CeCe.

 

Kaner beams, unrepentant, knowing he’s already won.  Jonny just referred to himself and CeCe as an _us_ after all.

 

**_****************************************************************************************************************************************_ **

 

“Three for three,” Kaner says.

 

“A dog?  You got him a dog?” Sharpy asks shaking his head in bewilderment.

 

“It’s not like I puppy-napped her!  We even played fetch with an arrow for awhile so I knew she’d be comfortable leaving the dorm and going with me to meet Jonny,” Kaner rationalizes.

 

“You don’t think it says something that you thought he needed company and instead of another person, you got him a dog?” Sharpy says incredulously.

 

“Man’s best friend!  There’s a whole chapter in training on this!” Kaner argues mutinously.

 

He leaves Sharpy behind and enters Abby’s office for his new names.

 

Okay, two for three, Kaner realizes staring down at his list, which now reads:

 

Jonathan Toews

Taylor Nunes

Reggie Cooper

 

He should be upset that Sharpy was right all along, but deep down, the one thing Kaner feels the most is relief.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaner feels warm.  There’s a secure arm wrapped around his middle, otherwise he’s pretty sure he’d float away.  He doesn’t mind in the least.  He’s perfectly content to stay right where he is, the gentle ebb and flow of Jonny’s breathing a soothing rhythm along his back.

 

Kaner blinks twice.

 

“Jonny?”

 

The arm tightens, drawing him closer and now Kaner can hear the hushed murmur of sleep-soft words pressed against the nape of his neck.  

 

“Jonny?”

 

Kaner can’t make out the sounds, consonants making lips slip-catch along smooth skin and blurred vowels gently stirring his curls.

 

Kaner fits his fingers neatly in between the hand clutched protectively along his chest and gives a small squeeze.

 

Jonny shifts to entangle their legs and Kaner knows it’s him, knows that smell of ice and soap and _familiar_.

 

“Jonny.”

 

“Kaner.”

 

Kaner squirms, trying to turn over as best as he can.  Face to face, Jonny’s eyes are alert and inquisitive, as if he’s been awake all along.

 

“Kaner,” he says, reaching up and stroking a single feather brushing Kaner’s shoulder.  

 

And this time, there isn’t any part of Kaner to muffle Jonny’s question.

 

“When is it my turn?”

 

Hurtling out of the dream, Kaner snaps awake with a start, alone and shivering.  Heart racing, never having felt guiltier for wanting someone he wasn’t meant to keep.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

Kaner’s hoarding Jonny.  It’s pretty obvious and he wonders why Abby hasn’t spoken to him about it yet.  Two for three.  Each time, Kaner enters her office and watches as the names in the second and third positions slowly fade away, marking them as successes no longer needing Kaner’s influence.  Jonny’s name stubbornly remains every time.  After the first couple of instances, Kaner wondered if he should offer some sort of explanation, but Abby merely waved him away stating that you can’t hurry love and that he’d figure out what Jonny needed sooner or later.  Even Sharpy, endlessly amused by what he calls Jonny playing hard to get, doesn’t seem to realize the truth of the matter.  

 

Kaner’s stopped trying.

 

Not with his other charges.  With them, he’s actually been quite brilliant.  Just last week he hijacked Allison Camerra’s online dating profile and selected a woman who stood a good chance of being the future Mrs. Camerra.  Savvy’s already scheduling Kaner to appear at training as a guest speaker for a lecture tentatively titled “Cursors Are Arrows Too”.

 

With Jonny, however, Kaner’s been content to sit back, share custody of CeCe, and ignore all thoughts of arrows and where best to stick them.  Looking back, Kaner sees all the justifications for what they truly are, flimsy excuses to keep Jonny for himself.

 

When Jonny was diagnosed with a concussion, clearly his health took precedence over any thoughts of improving his love life.  Andree had visited and given Kaner the tightest of hugs, saying how lucky Jonny was to have Patrick by his side.  After all, Kaner did have experience on the most effective way to deal with an unwell Jonny.

 

When the Hawks had an early playoff exit, Jonny needed a full two weeks to go through what Kaner labelled the Five Stages of Toewsian Grief (Disappointment, Oscar the Grouch, Woebegone, Hermit Crab, and Fitness Frenzy).  Clearly, the timing was all wrong.

 

Now, and especially after that dream, Kaner’s mature enough to admit to himself that he’s let his own inner desires roadblock his duties as a Cupid and Jonny’s chance at true happiness.  No one deserves that, and most certainly not Jonny.  If it were up to Kaner, Jonny would deserve the best of everything.  Some things _are_ up to Kaner though, and it’s about time he fulfilled his responsibility and not keep Jonny waiting.  Even if he breaks his own heart in the process.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

Meghan runs counter to Jonny’s clockwise along the lakeview path.  She co-owns a health food store in the same mini-mall where Jonny buys pet supplies for CeCe.  Her designer sneaker collection makes Kaner drool in envy.  She brings reusable bags when she goes shopping and can solve a Rubik’s Cube without cheating.

 

Kaner thinks he’s found the one.  Just enough in common with Jonny to build a foundation, but not so similar that it would be like dating a copy of himself.

 

Kaner’s been preparing for this.  He took careful notice of the way Jonny smiled with polite interest, but never pursued anyone within his circle of friends during Hawks charity events or team bbq’s and gatherings.  So that easily ruled out anyone Jonny already knew and left Kaner with a host of people who Jonny hadn’t crossed paths with yet.

 

Once he’d settled on Meghan, the second part of Kaner’s plan came into play, also known as the Preservation of Kaner’s Emotional Well-Being.  Setting the stage was hard enough, the last thing Kaner wanted was to be around to witness the romance unfolding.  That was a level of masochism he had zero inclination in achieving.

 

When Jonny asks about his plans for the summer and whether he’d want to go up to his family’s cabin by the lake, Kaner refuses, stating that there’s a study abroad program in Switzerland he’s been accepted to.

 

“Biel?  You didn’t even mention anything about applying,” Jonny frowns.

 

“I didn’t want to jinx anything.  What if I didn’t get in?” Kaner demurs.

 

Jonny scoffs.  “Of course you’d get in.”

 

The optimistic part of Kaner hopes that with distance and time, he can move on and have Jonny as a friend once again.  He isn’t a ten-year-old disallowed from having unsupervised playdates with humans any longer.  It wouldn’t be the same, but extricating himself from Jonny’s life completely would be much more difficult to pull off.  Kaner wouldn’t be surprised if Jonny had an APB for his disappearance issued within a few days at most.

 

A quick check of the sun shows that it’s almost time.

 

Kaner takes a deep breath and lets it slowly whoosh out.  Invisible to all the Sunday morning joggers within the area, Kaner nocks an arrow, wills his fingers to stay steady, and waits for Jonny and Meghan’s routes to intersect.

 

Kaner feels numb and when Jonny approaches it’s only years of muscle memory and conditioning that overcomes the slight tremble of hesitation to allow the arrow to fly on target.  

 

Kaner watches the smooth arc.

 

He watches the moment of impact.

 

He watches as Jonny is propelled slightly off-course just as Meghan turns the corner, and they smack together in a brief collision.    

 

Kaner watches as Meghan laughingly apologizes for her clumsiness despite Jonny’s assurances that it was his own inattention that was at fault.

 

He sees the way Jonny holds on two seconds too long as he helps her up, sees the slight blush across his cheeks when their eyes meet.

 

Kaner’s seen enough and needs to get the hell out of there.  Whoever said that it never hurts to be right is an idiot.


	5. Chapter 5

In the days that follow, Kaner’s attention never strays too far from the list.  Having completed his mission for his other two charges before taking aim at Jonny, he’s now due to see Abby.  Kaner’s not sure which result he dreads the most.  Two for three, which would mean that Kaner’s ill equipped to complete a task he’s trained his entire life for.  Especially considering that this is the one person he’d most like to bring happiness to.  Or three for three, the unforgiving evidence that Jonny’s never needed Kaner in his life to be happy at all.

 

When Kaner enters her office, Abby looks up with a concerned look at his grim face.  Usually at this point Kaner would be full of smiles and gesticulating rapidly as he recounted how his charges fell in love.

 

“Is everything alright, Kaner?” Abby questions.

 

“Yeah, just tired I guess,” Kaner deflects with a shrug.

 

He hands over his list quickly, anxious to get this part over with.  They both watch as one by one each and every name slowly dissolves, as if the ink itself evaporated to leave no trace on the parchment.

 

Three for three.  

 

As another triad blurs their way onto the page, Kaner can’t even concentrate enough to register what language the new names are written in.  Hell, someone could’ve chosen Wingdings for all he knew.

 

Abby gives a low whistle.  “No wonder you’re exhausted, your first perfect triad.  Congratulations, Kaner.  I knew it was only a matter of time.”

 

Kaner gives a wan smile in return.  “Yeah, I had a feeling about this one…”

 

Abby looks at him closely.  “Hey, no need to rush with these.  I don’t want you running yourself ragged.  Go enjoy yourself and make sure Sharpy’s buying.  If he’s going to take credit for his rookie doing well, he might as well be the one to pay for a few rounds.”

 

Kaner nods and walks out.  Right now, Switzerland doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Kaner would like to say the change of scenery does wonders for his state of mind, but instead of just missing Jonny, he misses _everyone._  He never thought he’d be nostalgic for Sharpy’s chirping or how nosy his sisters could be.  Plus, Jonny seemed to have an unerring ability to text Kaner at the precise few moments where he’d be engrossed in something that wouldn’t lead to thoughts of Chicago.  Usually, it was harmless pictures of fish.  Sometimes, he inquired about his classes.  Kaner tried to keep his responses brief and was thankful for the time difference to justify his sporadic and delayed replies.  

 

When Kaner receives a selfie of Jonny & Meghan in front a movie theater for some sort of pretentious french matinee, Kaner’s fairly sure his insides are trying to claw their way out of his throat.  Looking away from picture-Jonny’s smug smirk to the cocky “ _No subtitles_ ” he’d written on the bottom, Kaner’s acutely aware that moving away has done nothing to change his feelings.

 

A lovesick Cupid.  What a joke.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

After his summer session ends, Kaner returns home and dedicates himself to his charges with renewed fervor.  Although he’s aware that Jonny’s returned to Chicago for the upcoming training camp, Kaner hasn’t mentioned that he’s also back from Biel and plans to keep it that way for now.  

 

Even Sharpy raises an eyebrow at the number of arrows Kaner’s been going through and comments, “Good grief Peeksy, we aren’t trying to start another baby boom.”

 

At least by concentrating on everyone else’s love life Kaner is suitably distracted from his own sad state of affairs.  

 

That is, until the names begin reappearing.

 

The first time it happens, Kaner does a double-take.  It was only one triad ago that he’d shot an arrow at the coffeehouse barista Josie Richards had been pining for.  Her name had disappeared with the others on his list just last week.  Now, here it was yet again.

 

Kaner supposes that there could be another person with the same name in the city.  Josie Richards isn’t that uncommon.  But, at Kaner’s puzzled expression, Abby shakes her head and explains.  “It happens to every Cupid at one time or another.  It won’t be the last time either.  All it means is that you need to dig deeper.  Love can be fickle, whatever your arrow did to cause her name to disappear the first time just wasn’t meant to be.”

 

Kaner grits his teeth, annoyed with himself.  His calling card is happily ever afters.  Kaner was no spring break fling type of Cupid.

 

The second time it happens, Abby gives him a consoling pat.  

 

The third time, he receives a gentle “You’re rushing Kaner, you don’t need to settle these so quickly, take your time.”

When it happens the fourth time, Kaner is miserable.  He’s lost his touch.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Of course, just when Kaner’s hit rock bottom, he discovers that there’s a whole sub-basement to the shitshow his life’s become.

 

It’s 2AM and Kaner’s supporting a streetlamp with his forehead while he waits for Sharpy to settle the tab inside the bar.  Alcohol may have been involved.

 

Kaner isn’t sure how long he’s out there.  It was just him and good ol’ streetlamp.

 

But then there’s a Jonny-like figure hurrying across the street towards him.

 

“Jonny!” Kaner smiles brightly, holding out his arms.  “I missed you!”

 

But, Jonny’s stopped a good three feet away from him, a stunned expression making his dark eyes even more Bambi-like.

 

Kaner’s arms slowly drop back to his side.  Why isn’t Jonny hugging him?

 

Jonny jaw works as if he’s struggling to find his words, but his gaze never leaves the spot just past Kaner’s shoulders.

 

“Kaner…,” he finally manages.  “You have…”

 

And that’s when Kaner realizes what an awful mistake he’s made.  His inebriation has caused his control over his guise to slip.  Haloed by the glow of the streetlamp he’s standing under, his wings are on full display.  Panic seizes control of his limbs and Kaner does the one thing he definitely shouldn’t.  He flies away.

 

“...wings,” Jonny finishes in awe, staring at the small figure until it’s nothing more that a dot in the sky.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

The amount of missed calls from Jonny have hit double-digits and his texts have become increasingly insistent.

 

“Just say it was an early Halloween party.”

 

“It’s not even October yet, Sharpy.”

 

“Costume party?”

 

Kaner sighs.  “Sharpy, I flew away.  I don’t think they’ve invented costumes that can manage that as yet.”

 

“This can’t go on Peekaboo, your feathers are suffering.  No volume, no luster,” Sharpy says with an aggrieved expression on his handsome features.

 

“I’m molting,” Kaner replies morosely while slowly stirring his ice cream into a soup-like mixture.

 

Humans swear by the healing properties of Ben & Jerry’s in times of stress, but with each bite all Kaner can see is the judgey face Jonny would make at his eating habits.  Kaner sighs, at this rate he may have to start sticking avocado and kale on top of all his meals.

 

“Okay, whatever the internal monologue is that’s making you make that face needs to stop.  This is an intervention, Abby is summoning you,” Sharpy orders.  “I’ll go with you, probably my fault for leaving you there hugging that lamppost to begin with.”

 

Kaner walks to Abby’s office as if he’s headed for the gallows.  Surely he’d just be placed on probation?  He doesn’t know what he’d do if she asked for his bow.  

 

When they enter, Abby holds up a hand to Sharpy and says “I think I need to speak to Kaner alone.  I’ll talk to you afterwards.”

 

Sharpy throws a contrite glance in Kaner’s direction and quickly escapes Abby’s narrowed eyes.

 

At the soft click of the door closing, Abby turns to Kaner.  “Sharpy’s certain some of the fault lies with him for yesterday’s events.  I want to apologize because I’m equally sure that I’m to blame as well for not speaking with you earlier.  Something’s been going on, Kaner.  You haven’t been yourself.  You need to know that we’re both here to help.  What’s been bothering you?”

 

Kaner doesn’t know if it’s because Abby’s earnest gaze is so eerily similar to Jonny’s, but before he consciously makes the decision, the entire soap opera storyline of his life comes pouring out.

 

“And now he might think he’s going crazy, Abby.  He’s had a concussion, the last thing I want is for him to think he’s suffered a relapse and started hallucinating,” Kaner is pretty much blubbering at this point.  He gives Abby credit for being able to understand the garbled sentences rushing out of him.

 

“Kaner,” Abby soothes, enfolding his hunched frame into her arms.  “From what you’ve told me, it seems that you and Jonny have always cared about each other.  What made you think that he wouldn’t be happy with you?”

 

Kaner looks up with a dumbfounded expression.  Maybe Abby hasn’t been following along as well as he thought.  “Abby, the whole point of Jonny being on my list was for me to find someone for him.  You saw, the entire time I was with him, his name never went away.  If he was happy with me, it would have disappeared before he met Meghan.”

 

“Not necessarily,” Abby hums.  “He was with you, but he wasn’t _with_ you in the way you both may have wanted.  There’s always been four names on that list of yours.  All are deserving of happiness.”

 

“You mean three names,” he says, brushing off her slip with a confused frown.

 

“No, Kaner,” she says, gently wrestling the parchment out Kaner’s grip and unfolding it.  “Four names.”

 

Kaner looks at spot where her index finger lay.  It was his own signature, hastily scribbled on the bottom of the page on the day he promised Abby that he wouldn’t let any of his charges down.

 

“You’re responsible for your own happiness too, Kaner.  And if what you’re telling me is true,” she says nodding over at the message light blinking on Kaner’s phone “Jonny doesn’t seem ready to let you go just yet.”

 

Abby gives a slight shake to the list.  “In fact, I have a hunch.  Ready to turn this in?”

 

Kaner nods mutely, seeing the direction Abby was headed, but not daring to hope.

 

“Look at that,” Abby says, handing the list back over.  Jonny’s familiar scrawl is firmly in place back at the top of the list.  “Guess whatever your arrow brought about wasn’t meant to be.  Go on Kaner, be better.”

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

This wasn’t exactly a conversation one had over the phone, but as Kaner stood outside of Jonny’s door, shuffling in awkward nervousness, he wondered if he should have written out a speech first.  Preparation is key, Kaner’s thinking inanely, just as the door is flung open and Jonny physically pulls him inside by his shirt.  

 

“Fuck’s sake Kaner, took you long enough,” Jonny grits out, slamming the door closed.  

 

Jonny looks...livid, yes, but also exhausted if the dark circles under his eyes have anything to say.  His arms are crossed and he’s currently leveling Kaner with a stare of focused intensity.  

 

Kaner gulps.  That’s Jonny’s game face.  The one he uses at the face-off dot.  Goddamnit, Kaner’s always been shit at face-offs and Jonny knows it.

 

“Do you have something to tell me or were you just in the neighborhood,” Jonny says sarcastically.

 

Kaner takes a cautious step back and feels something brush against him.  Looking down, Kaner sees CeCe’s small frame head-butting his leg, tail wagging excitedly.  Glad for the reprieve and grateful for any support he can get, Kaner snatches her off the floor and cradles her close.

 

“No way, not happening,” Jonny says advancing closer to scoop CeCe into his own arms.  “The last thing I need is for both of you to be making those eyes at me.”

 

Puppy kisses cruelly torn away, Kaner sighs.  “Jonny, can we sit down at least?  There’s a lot I need to explain.”

 

“No kidding,” Jonny deadpans, leaving Kaner to follow him as he walks into the living room.

Taking a seat on the couch, Jonny sets CeCe down and she scampers off, already bored with the lack of fetch being played.  Kaner allows for a healthy amount of personal space before joining Jonny, who’s already mid-rant and not so subtly checking for any obvious protrusions attached to Kaner’s back.

 

“Don’t even try telling me I imagined the whole thing.  I might have had a few beers, but I know what I saw.  So what are you?  Some sort of guardian angel?  SuperKaner?”

 

Kaner’s sure Jonny means for it to be a mocking suggestion, but the unknown probability that it just might be true lends a frustrated edge to his words.

 

“Have...have you said anything to anyone?” Kaner asks tentatively.

 

Jonny looks at him as if he’s lost his mind.  “And how exactly would that go, Kaner?  Hey guys?  You know my best friend who can’t be assed to return a phone call for the past few months?  Apparently, he grew wings over the summer.”

 

Kaner ducks his head in guilt and mumbles an abashed, “Always had’em.”

 

“C’mon Kaner, I thought we were better than this, that we could trust each other.  This is definitely not something I could’ve ever predicted, but I feel like you’ve been distant even before I saw you outside that bar.  I won’t leave you or say anything to anyone else.  Your secret, whatever it is, stays with me.  You believe me, right?”

 

Kaner hates that he ever put that small quaver of doubt in Jonny’s voice.

 

“Yeah Jon, ‘course,” Kaner says with an emphatic nod.  “Okay, so I think it’ll be better if I just tell you everything at once.  No interruptions, promise?”

 

Jonny gives a solemn nod back, prompting Kaner to begin with, “So I’m a Cupid and each of us has a list--”

 

“Holy fucking hell.”

 

“Jon!”

 

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, grasping the parchment from Kaner’s outstretched hand and unfolding it.  “Hey, that’s my name, but I never signed this,” Jonny frowns.  It isn’t the quick scribble including the #19 he uses to autograph fan memorabilia either.

 

“Yeah Jon, you’ve been on my list since the beginning.  Well, until you weren’t but I’m jumping ahead,” Kaner says, taking a breath before continuing.  For the second time in as many days, Kaner lets everything spill out.  Well, almost everything.  Jonny looks like he’s having enough trouble keeping his promise to not interrupt without Kaner confessing his undying love on top of it all.

 

By the end of it, Kaner feels the relief of no longer having to hide flow through his body.  However, one look at Jonny shows his face to be grim and withdrawn.  It’s the same face he wears during post-game interviews following an ugly loss where nothing seemed to go right.

 

“...Jonny?” Kaner says cautiously.

 

Jonny’s gaze, which had been staring off into the distance for the past few moments, finally focuses on Kaner’s anxious expression.

 

“You must think I’m pretty pathetic if you had use some sort of magic to convince a dog to stay with me and a woman to date me,” he says quietly.

 

“No! Jonny, no, that’s not it at all!” Kaner cries out.

 

“Sure looks that way to me,” Jonny says, face still carefully blank.

 

Kaner’s never hated anything more than the reserved facade adorning Jonny’s features.  He’d prefer a screaming match to Jonny ever feeling the need to conceal his emotions from Kaner.  A small voice in the back of his head whispers that perhaps this is how Jonny felt when Kaner tried instill some distance during the summer.

 

Now, space is the last thing Kaner wants between them and with a sudden lunge he crosses over to Jonny’s side of the couch and plops onto his lap.

 

Jonny lets out a surprised “Oof” while his hands quickly move to Kaner’s hips to settle his movement.

 

Holding onto Jonny’s shoulders for balance, Kaner gives a firm shake of his hands until Jonny’s attention is drawn to the sincerity in his blue eyes.

 

“Jonny, it was never like that.  I never shot an arrow at CeCe, she loves you all on her own.  And with Meghan, I shot _you_.  I didn’t make her do anything.  I thought you’d be good together, that it might work out.”

 

“Kaner,” Jonny says sternly, “I don’t want you meddling any longer.  I want my feelings to be my own, not something you made happen with those damn arrows.”

 

At Kaner’s chagrined expression, Jonny mutters, “It’s not like you don’t cause enough trouble without them.”

 

“You were happy, weren’t you?  I was gone and you were happy,” Patrick meant for it to sound accusatory, to show that his actions were justified, but his voice betrays him and cracks at the end.

 

Jonny gives him a considering look.  “You’re an absolute idiot sometimes.  What did you do in fancy Cupid school, huh?”

 

“Learned to play hockey with you!” Kaner answers, chin tilted up defiantly.

 

Jonny gives a startled laugh.  “So my fault then?”

 

As Kaner bristles, Jonny smooths a gentle palm down his back, eyes contemplative.  “I think it’s your turn to listen for a bit.  That okay, Kaner?”

 

Kaner nods in silent agreement and Jonny continues, “You said I was alone, but I wasn’t, not really.”

 

“I know,” Kaner replies, fingers worrying at one of the buttons to Jonny’s henley.  “I mean, I see that now.”

 

“We spend all our time together, Maman loves you, I cook you dinners, and you take care of me when I’m sick.”

 

Kaner hums, not quite able to meet Jonny’s eyes.

 

“I ask you to come home with me for a few weeks during the summer and it’s like you couldn’t say no fast enough.  We talked all the time before, and then I find out you’d made these plans on your own without mentioning a thing.  A guy can take a hint, Kaner.”

 

“You never said anything!” Kaner says, eyes wide.

 

Jonny huffs, “You never said a lot of things.”

 

“Huh,” Kaner says, slightly dazed.  Although Abby had planted the idea, Kaner hadn’t dared to hope.

 

After a slight pause, Kaner grins and looks up at Jonny through his lashes.  “Me too, Jonny.”

 

“Ugh,” Jonny says wrinkling his nose while he traced his thumb along the line of Kaner’s eyebrow.  “I used to think that you didn’t know what you looked like when you’d make those eyes at me.  But you know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?”

 

Kaner beams, unrepentant, and leans down, lips a hairsbreadth from Jonny’s own.  “Is it working?”

 

Jonny just tugs him closer and then there’s no space between them at all.  

 

So this is what it’s like, Kaner thinks as he softly brushes across the scar on Jonny’s upper lip.  

 

This is how Jonny kisses, as Jonny twists his fingers through his curls and angles his head down.  

 

This is what Jonny tastes like, as Kaner’s tongue traces the seam of his lips that soon part on a sigh.  

 

This is how Jonny sounds, as he gives a low groan and pushes Kaner to lay back before covering his body with his own.

 

This is what Jonny looks like when he wants you, eyes blown, staring at Kaner’s mouth as if he never wants to leave.

 

“Took us long enough,” Jonny says, voice like gravel as he slowly lowers his head and gives the softest of eskimo kisses.

 

Kaner laughs, amused, and confesses, “I just...didn’t think you could be for me.  I’d dream about us sometimes, you know?”

 

“Oh yeah?” Jonny says with a playful bite to the curve of his neck.  “Tell me, what did we do in your dreams?”

 

Patrick looks down at his fingers which were currently gripping the soft material of Jonny’s henley.

 

“Well...well then you weren’t wearing this,” Kaner says giving a slight tug to the fabric in his hands.

 

“Hmm,” Jonny murmurs thoughtfully, occupied with leaving a mark on Kaner’s flushed skin.  And then more, smaller little licks and bites all the way up to Kaner’s ear.  “So what are you gonna do about it?  Guess you’ll have to show me.”

 

So Kaner does.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Kaner’s collapsed on Jonny’s chest, drowsily listening to the steady bah-bump, bah-bump of his heart.

 

“Can I see them?” Jonny whispers, fingers tracing an aimless pattern along Kaner’s back.

 

Kaner’s frankly surprised that Jonny hadn’t seen anything earlier.  Given their activities, his control was tenuous at best.  Then again, given their activities, they were plenty distracted.

 

He sits up on Jonny’s thighs and while stretching languorously, lets his guise dissolve.

 

“You’re perfect,” Jonny says as he delicately strokes his fingers through the downy white cloud, seemingly entranced.

 

“Hey now, this doesn’t make me some sort of angel,” Kaner diffuses with a sleepy waggle of his eyebrows.

 

But Jonny shakes his head, undeterred, and clarifies, “No, no, even without them, you’re perfect for _me_.”

 

“Oh,” Kaner says, bashful under Jonny’s earnest gaze and at the way his fingers have yet to still in their exploration.  “For me too...guess there’s a reason you’ve always been number one on my list Jonny.”

 

Kaner takes a quick glance to the right where the list in question is currently crumpled amongst the pile of hastily removed clothes.

 

“Jonny, are you….happy?  Do you think your name’s still going to be there?” Kaner asks with a hesitant bite to his bottom lip.

 

Jonny slowly sits up, thumbs Kaner’s lip free, and reclaims it with his own mouth.  “You can check if you want, but what do you think?”

  
Kaner searches Jonny’s face and replies with a soft smile, “I think we’re good...perfect even.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hello at my [tumblr](http://gin-gin-jen.tumblr.com/)


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